Women
Just been thinking on my journey to an aesthetic body about what it's like having sex with a woman. Right now I'm a little overweight and its quite hard for women to get pleasure from looking at me at this time but almost every woman I stare at I feel some kind of romantic engagement, obviously with varying degrees but if I'm attracted to you there is always going to be some kind of romantic connection for me when I look into your eyes and I believe every guy probably feels the same if they are married or not. Women are sooo beautiful and if you are attracted to them in any way its hard to resist them. When I look into a women's eyes and they are beautiful I feel a connection like no other. Its so intense, sometimes if I'm on a public transport or talking to a work colleague and I look at their eyes and they are so beautiful then something happens in me and it becomes so difficult to hide this feeling that wells up from my stomach. I just want to connect and know everything about them. I want to give them the greatest pleasure in the world.
I wonder if girls ever feel the same when they see a attractive man. I wonder in the future if my wife will feel the same way. It seems like such a balancing act between lust and love. They seem so intertwined, I'm attracted to you therefore I want to know everything about you and after knowing you are just as human as me I won't be able to resist falling in love with you. I think this is how love works, with my wife in the future I wonder how our relationship will be. Will we be in an open relationship and be with everyone who we have this attraction/romance connection with? Or will we be exclusive? I'm not too sure but I'm leaning towards open relationship as it just sounds like so much fun. We can have romantic connections with other people but somehow through trust we believe we will always come back to each other. To me this sounds like the true test of love. You know that best friend that you grew up with and was always there through thick and thin, kinda similar to what I'm describing. We can't be dependent but we can be as close as we can to it. I can't imagine a future of monogamy and I think marriage is going to fade away.
Just imagine you're hanging out with a good friend but then your BFF calls you and says they need you, would you not always leave and go to your BFF? That what I want. I imagine BFF divorce rates are way lower than actual marriage divorce :P
The last two years of my life have a been a roller coaster, I literally have a new job every 2nd month and I've been trying to get in shape as the girl I want to marry has to be a dream girl and I have to be a dream guy if I'm to have a chance. My weight has been fluctuating by 15kgs every 4 months. I keep trying to get fit and believe me I really try. I go on 1500 calories a day and lose 1-2kg/week but after 6 weeks I binge and gain it all back. I'm so close to getting fit and it's going to happen so I can find my dream girl and have the connection I've been dreaming of. Heres some photos for last 2 years reference. I'm gonna get so fit, I'm so sick of being overweight. Just wait.
05/10/2020
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